Before diving into the success of career and personal growth, we need to understand the Waves of Change we face in the process. Keeping in mind that we have our fantasy of how this will ideally look, which opens space to ride the wave of unknown where pity city can determine if it is to be released or suppressed. Think of it as learning how to ride a bicycle, there were training wheels to start, just like our foundation of reading, writing and understanding information presented. Once we have implemented and used these tools on offer, our training wheels are then removed. Now for our next phase, riding without training wheels. Yes, we fell off, got a few warrior scratches on the way where we started to learn that with each failure we left with choices. Do we get back on and try again? Or do we give up the desire to ride? Here is the key… you have the experience and tools to try again, just differently, keeping sight of WHY you decided to ride in the forefront.
1. Crisis/ New Initiative Characteristic: Surprise/ Shock/ Excitement In this stage we have unrealistic expectations and what may seem like an unrealistic goal in mind. Such as expanding in a career line, starting a business or leaving a toxic relationship. To support any change we seek out the facts that will support this new journey and we decide to run with it.
2. Denial Characteristic: Confusion/ isolation Clouding the reason WHY we decided on taking on the space of change we lack the motivation to continue and may become frustrated that the path we have now chosen is not “easy”, as once believed, as it is now shaking the ground we once thought to have a more solid foundation. Here we continue to look externally for the facts of making this change a reality, in some way isolating from people, places and things as we feel the hurt and pain as we have fallen off our bicycles.
3. Resistance Characteristic: Anger, anxiety, procrastination, doubt As we seek out the external validation, we take on what others say we should be, could be, would be… closing ourselves into a box to ensure those around us are more comfortable with who we THINK we are based off the worlds view. Maybe the goal we have dreamed of/ envisioned is a lot bigger than me. The frustration builds as we are in war with ourselves, having a small sense of awareness that something isn’t aligning with our reality that we have now decided to create, here we may procrastinate as the gaps in achieving our goals are seen as opportunity to lose sight of our WHY, extending into the world of unhealthy anxiety as we overanalyze our past and deconstruct the future with externally validated reasons why we may not be good enough, worthy enough, invisible, unseen and unheard.
4. Depression/ Exploration Characteristic: Bargaining, reframing, resignation Let’s uncover the word “depression”… in the 19th Century German psychiatrist Emil Kraepelin began referring to various forms of melancholia as “depressive states”, due to low moods that define it. Causing a loss of interest with a persistent feeling of sadness. Understanding that this would affect how you feel, think and behave leading to a variety of emotional and physical ailments. As a contradictory thought experiment, “depress” in its purest form is to press down upon. Let’s take pressing a leaf for example, it releases oil… likewise in being in this state, being pressed with emotion that is asking to simply be released. Once released, instead of asking what is wrong with me? Let’s reframe, what is right with me? Reaching out more for support in this space rather than validation has a forward motion.
5. Commitment Characteristic: Acceptance Once the understanding of releasing emotions felt, gains clarity of a new direction where the initial goal/dream that started the journey of change is met with acceptance. Accepting that we are not Islands and know that support is not finite, we learn to explore the world around us more where we meet others who offer new viewpoints of what life can look like when finding the balance of doing the personal work and being held accountable to the changes.
6. Moving Forward Characteristic: Acceptance Being open and ready to receive support has a new look when offered feedback. Feedback offers a result, from the result we have choice. Making the choice to action the tools on offer and expand the comfort zone is a space of inspiration. Inspiration in a simplistic from where it has no limits to what can ultimately be achieved on a more realistic stand point.
Through each event in our lives we are faced with countless waves of change. This is where we get to be reminded of how grueling learning can be. To be humbled once more with what may in the beginning seem like unrealistic goals/dreams. The difference now, is the conscious awareness that we are no longer islands finding our way through the storms, we are well supported by those who have faced their own and offer unique spaces of a buffet of tools that may seem like philosophy in the beginning… as you have discovered though, when trying out the tools on offer you get to expand in a world of experience where you can then become a leading force to others who are seeking your wisdom. Success is seen differently by each individual, yet one thing always holds its truth… You are not alone and you have the courage to ask and create a new reality you wish to thrive in. The choice to make a difference in your world will forever be in YOUR hands. Are you ready to choose a different tool that will build an empire or continue to use the one you are comfortable with that may tear it down? The choice to ride the endless waves is yours.