When Success Comes at the Cost of Yourself
Grateful for Growth, Committed to Impact
Have you ever worked really hard towards a goal, only to realise that somewhere along the way, you lost the excitement that made you start in the first place?
Perhaps your business is growing. You’re achieving things you once dreamed of, and from the outside, everything looks pretty good.
Yet something doesn’t feel quite right.
You find yourself procrastinating on things you know you should be doing. Decisions that used to feel easy become difficult. You start questioning your motivation, your abilities, perhaps even your purpose.
What do we often do when that happens?
We push harder.
We set new goals, create another strategy, attend another workshop or look for someone who can teach us how to become more productive.
What if productivity isn’t the problem?
What if the problem is that we have gradually moved away from what truly matters to us?
The Hidden Cost of Living Out of Alignment
We all have core values, whether we have consciously identified them or not.
They are the things that matter deeply to us. The principles that influence how we want to live, how we treat others and what we believe is important.
For some, it is freedom. For others, security, honesty, family, contribution, growth or authenticity.
There are no right or wrong values, but there can be a significant cost when the way we live and work constantly conflicts with them.
Imagine that freedom is one of your highest values.
You started your own business partly because you wanted more control over your time and the opportunity to create a life on your own terms.
A few years later, you find yourself working longer hours than ever, constantly available to clients and feeling guilty whenever you take time off.
Your business may be successful by traditional standards.
But are you?
Or imagine that authenticity and integrity are essential to you, yet you find yourself following marketing strategies that make you uncomfortable because someone told you that this is what successful entrepreneurs do.
You might even get results.
But at what cost?
When we repeatedly act against what we believe in, something happens within us. We may lose energy, enthusiasm and eventually the connection to the very reason we started.
Is It Really Self-Sabotage?
I find this particularly interesting because we are often so quick to judge ourselves.
We label ourselves lazy, inconsistent or undisciplined when we don’t follow through on our plans.
Of course, sometimes we simply need to get on with things. Not everything in life or business is going to be exciting!
Yet sometimes our resistance deserves a little more curiosity.
Perhaps the goal we are working towards isn’t actually ours.
Perhaps it is something we believe we should want, based on other people’s expectations or society’s definition of success.
Or perhaps the goal itself is right, but the way we are trying to reach it goes against our values.
When that happens, we can end up fighting ourselves.
One part of us wants to move forward, while another is desperately trying to tell us that something needs to change.
Instead of immediately asking, “How can I become more disciplined?”, perhaps a better question would be:
“Is what I’m working towards still aligned with the person I am and the life I want to live?”
That question can change quite a lot.
Gratitude Isn’t Just About Celebrating Success
November brings a beautiful opportunity to reflect on gratitude, growth and the impact we make and have made, but I believe gratitude goes much deeper than appreciating the good things that have happened.
Sometimes the greatest growth comes from the experiences we would never have chosen.
The business idea that didn’t work.
The collaboration that wasn’t right.
The period when we pushed ourselves too far.
The moment we realised that something had to change.
Looking back, we may discover that those experiences taught us something valuable about ourselves.
I certainly have learnt a lot in regards to this.
There was a time in my own life when being strong, responsible and capable of handling everything was almost part of my identity.
I was very good at pushing through.
What I wasn’t nearly as good at was listening to myself.
It took a burnout for me to begin understanding that being able to do something doesn’t necessarily mean it is right for me.
Today, I’m grateful for that lesson, although I wouldn’t recommend the way I learned it!
It changed how I look at success, responsibility and the importance of living in alignment with who we truly are, and it continues to influence how I work with others.
From Personal Growth to Genuine Impact
One of Archer Inspirations’ messages this month is that impact matters more than income.
I agree, although I don’t believe we need to choose between the two.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a profitable business. Quite the opposite. Financial stability gives us opportunities, freedom and the ability to contribute in ways that might otherwise be difficult.
I do know that money alone doesn’t tell us whether we are successful.
What about the people whose lives we touch?
The relationships we build?
The difference we make through our work?
And what about the impact our business has on our own wellbeing and the people closest to us?
I believe sustainable success happens when our goals, values and actions support each other.
When we know what we stand for, it becomes easier to make decisions, set boundaries and recognise opportunities that are genuinely right for us.
We also become more authentic in how we show up.
People will notice it…
Not because we have mastered another marketing technique, but because there is something different about someone who genuinely believes in what they do.
That authenticity creates trust, trust builds relationships, and relationships are the foundation of a community where people support each other, grow together and create an impact that goes far beyond individual achievements.
Are You Building the Life You Actually Want?
As we move towards the end of another year, many business owners are already thinking about their goals for the next one.
Revenue targets, new clients, growth strategies and opportunities.
All important things, but before rushing into another year of doing more, I would encourage you to spend a little time reflecting on what you are actually working towards.
Ask yourself:
- What are the values I refuse to compromise, both personally and professionally?
- Do my current goals reflect those values and the vision I have for my life?
- Where am I pushing myself towards something that no longer feels right?
- What have this year’s challenges taught me about myself?
- What kind of impact do I genuinely want to make?
You might discover that you don’t need a completely new business plan.
Most likely you simply need to reconnect with the person behind the business because when we become more aware of ourselves, our patterns and what truly matters, we also become better equipped to take responsibility for our choices.
We become able to respond, rather than simply reacting to expectations, pressure and old habits.
That is where meaningful change begins.
Grateful for Growth. Committed to Impact.
For me, gratitude is not just about looking back and appreciating how far we have come.
It is also about recognising who we have become along the way.
The lessons, the people, the opportunities and even the mistakes that have helped us grow.
By being committed to impact means taking that awareness into how we choose to live and work moving forward.
Not chasing success at any cost, but creating success that feels meaningful, sustainable and true to who we are.
What is the point of building a successful business if we lose ourselves in the process?
Perhaps the most important goal for the coming year isn’t to achieve more, but to make sure that what we are achieving truly matters.
Imagine the impact we can create from that place.
A Little Invitation to Reflect
Before setting your next big goal, take a moment to ask yourself:
Am I building my business around the life I want to live, or am I building my life around the demands of my business?
If that question makes you stop and think, perhaps it is worth exploring a little further.
As a Reinvention Coach, I help professionals and business owners reconnect with themselves, recognise the patterns influencing their choices and create meaningful, sustainable change.
Because you shouldn’t have to lose yourself to become successful.
Come HOME to yourself.
Anneli Johansson
Midlife Reinvention Coach | HOME™ – The Return to Self Method
